Freedom, Controversy and Mutual Respect

Recently on the national scene a huge controversy has arisen over a speech to be made by the President to students nationwide Tuesday. I am not seeking to justify any view point on that controversy, but rather to address the issue of how we handle dissent and discussion.

Whether or not I agree with someone, I have to admire anyone who will speak up for their viewpoint knowing that in so doing they have opened themselves up for "attack." That is not easy to do and very often, someone ends up with hurt feelings. It is common to become defensive and if you are able to successfully avoid this pitfall I applaud you. I appreciate having friends who don't always agree with me. Discussion, dissent and openness foster deeper understanding and, even when agreement is never reached, each party leaves the table more confident in their own belief for having heard--hopefully with an open mind-- the other side's point of view.

I have many friends with whom I simply agree to disagree. I know that we (for the most part) lie on different ends of the political, educational and sometimes spiritual spectrum. The conviction that my opinion is right does not negate my ability to respect your right to hold and express your opinion. Once this is understood by all parties involved an open and beneficial discussion can follow.

I clearly remember an attempt at discussion with a a friend in high school who was part of the Mormon church. I was horribly disappointed when he brought back to me a paper written by his father about why they believed what they believed, and when I went to question those beliefs his response was simply 'we don't question what we have been taught.' I hope that my children, when confronted with questions they don't understand or ideas that confuse them, will come to me for discussion. I hope that they never feel that they can't question what they have been taught. I teach them to look at ideas, philosophies and the things they hear and see critically- not to just accept things because they are told, but to seek out the whole picture and from that to glean the truth. I also hope to teach them that God has created a diverse world full of different cultures, ideas, and experiences and that just because those things differ from ours does not make them bad or worthless. Are there things that are clearly bad, wrong and evil. Yes, and children inherently understand that. Part of teaching my children to appreciate differences is also teaching them basic values: be kind, be truthful, be loving and have compassion, be self-controlled and don't give up when things are hard, look for things to be thankful for and you will find joy, be humble yet confident, and so forth.

I am disheartened that in this country where freedom is celebrated, that freedom has become so distorted that we are no longer free. It has gone from I am free to hold my views and worship in my own way to an actual lack of freedom lest in our freedom we offend someone else. It troubles me how easily we take away the freedoms of others and yet demand respect and freedom for ourselves . In an effort not to get off topic I will simply say, that the public school system has become the most fertile ground for this kind of falsehood. We claim to be free and yet within the school system freedom is crushed every day- justified as an effort to please everyone.

The struggle to have an open discussion where dissenting opinions will be expressed is to do so in an atmosphere of mutual respect. That is a challenge I face regularly and have yet to master (hence the avoiding of such discussions).

Freedom is a wonderful thing and something to be treasured. As citizens of the United States we celebrate this Freedom to hold to our own opinions and to live life, for the most part, as we wish. Spiritually, I believe that God has given his children a great freedom and in that freedom is the reason we can hold tightly to our own beliefs without belittling or becoming judgmental in our discussion with others who may not hold to the same convictions. Allowing you to hold your own principals is not a sign of wavering or weakness in my own persuasion, but rather a sign of strength that I believe my convictions can stand up to the influence of other ideas. It is by respectfully hearing the voice of dissension (or sometimes by being that voice) that we can gain the most complete understanding of an issue and thus, the most confidence in our own convictions.